To Sin and Surrender
by Calypso Diangelos
Summary: Lust hurts just as much as love when someone falls over the edge. Slash. Dark. Oddly canon. Clex.


To Sin and Surrender

By Calypso

Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville. I make no money. Spoilers for season three thus far.

Summary: Lust hurts just as much as love when someone falls over the edge. Slash. Dark. Oddly canon. 

* * *

"Two tons of steel slamming me over the side of a bridge didn't hurt. You think a little sex is going to?" The comment came out of nowhere. Clark thrust Lex's body against the wall, forced his mouth open. Prying, digging, consuming. Lex was too surprised to fight back. His protests died before they could be formed. The nature of the conversation they'd been having deserted him completely. Was he dreaming? After three years, how was it that Clark Kent had finally caught on to the secret Lex had tried hardest to keep from him? 

Lust.

Without looking, Clark placed his hand on the black silk shirt Lex wore; contemplated ripping it apart. Decided differently. _Not an all together unpleasant dream, _ran through Lex's head. Clark pushed his body closer. Not letting Lex up for air until he knew that the Luthor would faint unless he got some oxygen. "Or did you forget that too?" The long kiss hadn't even come close to winding him.

Lex was too busy trying to breathe to answer Clark's questions. If he'd been functioning properly the comment about the car might've sunk in. As it was, he was too distracted by Clark's body pressed fully against his. It finally occurred to him that this was real. That he hadn't dozed off while pouring over business files. That Clark really had veered off in the middle of a conversation and slammed him against a wall. _He's not drunk. _Lex processed. _No alcohol on his breath. Drugs? From where?_

"I'm not blind Lex. I'm not blind, I'm not stupid, and I'm not oblivious." Each statement punctuated with a kiss, an assault. A need. For one awful twilight zone moment, Lex seriously wondered if Kent had an evil twin. "So stop punishing me." Clark leaned his forehead against Lex's, staring intently at him as the shorter man continued to gasp for breath. Large hands rested heavily on slim hips, starting to pull downward on the expensive material of Lex's pants; he nibbled at the flesh of Lex's neck. _Holy Shit._ Clark's earlier comments finally took hold._ He wants sex? Clark I've-spent-the-last-three-years-mooning-over-Lana-Lang Kent wants to have sex. _ _With me._ Lex suddenly unfroze, began to fight back; this wasn't Clark. Not the real Clark. Not his Clark. Couldn't be. Lex dug his fingers into Clark's shoulder's trying to push him away.

Clark only laughed when he felt his prey begin to resist. Knowing that he was the stronger of the two, he held on to Lex tighter. Making the older boy wince. His lips clamped down on Lex's mouth again. Once more he kissed Lex for so long that Lex nearly fainted. "Stop pretending Lex; it's a little late for lies." Clark pressed closer, placing one leg between the older boy's thighs. Lex openly groaned, Clark smirked. "You know, you've got awful self control for a Luthor."_ Self control my ass._ Lex answered mentally. _You're not the one that hasn't gotten laid in three months. _"Is this what I have to do to get your attention?" 

Lex lifted his head. Clark's face was innocent again. The expression was hurt. Needy. This was the Clark he remembered from before everything had gone so terribly wrong. From before...

The Luthor in him took over.

"What makes you think you deserve my attention?" Lex consciously imitated his father's tone, "You abandoned me to my father's mental hospital after I gave your parents their farm back. You choose everyone else over me; betrayed my trust." Clark cut him off; the hurt had transformed itself to anger. 

"What trust? You investigated me. Kept tabs on what I did and who I was with. You obsessed over me but you never trusted me!" Clark still hadn't let go, Lex noticed that their lips were only inches apart. "Even when I defended you to everyone else, I always knew you were lying. That you didn't trust me, but I defended you anyway." Clark's voice had turned gentle, but his body had done the opposite. His hands clenched around Lex so hard they hurt. When he closed the minute gap between them and started the needful kissing again, Lex knew that his lips, along with other parts of his body, would be bruised the next morning. Lex didn't resist. He wanted the kiss, but the anger in his mind still snapped like a whip. When he felt Clark's tongue slip between his teeth, he bit down. Hard. Clark barely seemed to notice. His hands began to wander. Lust flared to life. It took Lex all of his self discipline not to simply let Clark keep going, when he felt fingers prying at his belt, he finally forced himself to stop them .Clark pulled away. Lex let the anger take reign. 

"You defended me? You call what you've done defending? Protecting? You want to know why you haven't gotten any of my _attention _ lately? It's because instead of your best friend I've suddenly turned into the one person you seem to have no problem treating like dirt. You lied to my face, you stole from me. I never asked you for anything besides honesty. How the hell do you think I felt when the one person I expected to treat me like a normal human being decided that I wasn't worth -?" 

"You knew about the car all along." Clark whispered the fact; there were no question marks in his tone. His entire body had frozen in mid movement. "You knew I'd take it when you didn't give me the money." Still no questions, only fact. "I can resist temptation Lex, but I can't… I can't…" Lex looked up, Clark had begun to cry. Suddenly, he knew that Clark was no longer angry. He was ashamed. Guilty. Clark let go of Lex completely, gazing downward towards his feet. Hiding the tears.

The remainder of his accusations died on Lex's lips. He felt no triumph and yet, no sympathy either. He lifted one of his hands until Clark's face rested in one palm. "I know."

Clark raised his eyes, Lex leaned forward. This time, the kiss was different. Gentle. Accepting. Painful. Clark pulled away. Lex closed his eyes. When he opened them, Clark was gone. 

Another Hallucination?

* * *

Clark sat on his bed. He stared across the room at the lead box sitting on his dresser. Able to see every detail even in the darkness. _"I've suddenly turned into the one person you seem to have no problem treating like dirt."_ The words dug into him. Wretched him apart. Tore at him. Hurt him in a way he hadn't thought possible. 

He hadn't planned on kissing Lex. He hadn't intended to go nearly as far as he did. If the words hadn't hurt so much, he'd be blushing with the knowledge of what he'd done. Clark had only wanted to know why his best friend avoided him. He had wanted to know why the gap between them had grown so far. Now he knew. He'd be afraid of the knowledge before; more afraid of not having that knowledge. Now that he'd found it; he didn't want it.

"I'm sorry Lex." Clark had no more tears. He had cried them all already. What had happened tonight wouldn't happen again. Ever. 

With purpose, he got up, strode towards the box. Opened it. For a fraction of a second, it seemed like an endless vortex. An abyss. He faltered.

One second.

One heartbeat. 

Enough.

Clark slipped the ring off of his finger; like a dark secret, he had kept it. One drop of blood. A single piece of red kryptonite. One temptation he hadn't been able to resist. Like a heroin addict who kept his favorite needle even after the habit was kicked. One secret. One Sin.

_No_, Clark thought, _two secrets_. The ring was one, but there was another. "I'm sorry Lex." He shut the box, and never said _I love you._

* * *

Lex downed another brandy. Glanced as his shirtless form in the mirror. The bruises could be seen clearly there. _Not a hallucination. _He thought sluggishly. _Hallucination's don't hurt._

The kisses had been real. The words had been real. HE had been real. This was reality. Reality. 

He'd said them.

The words that he knew would alienate Clark once and for all. The words that he'd fought day and night to keep at bay had finally spilt out. Clark was as good as gone. As good as nothing. _I should leave now._ _I don't have any reason to stay here anymore._

Lex absorbed these truths. Absorbed what had happened. The moments ticked by. At last, it dawned upon him. Clark was gone.

He had no choice but to surrender.

His father had won.

~ Fini ~

Author's Note: I know I know, Clark doesn't have any red kryptonite at this point but considering how many ppl in smallville seem to be getting their hands on green kryptonite lately I think I can take one or two creative liberties.


End file.
